• April Fools

    New T.C. Renovations for Overcrowding

    Overcrowding has always been a big issue in T.C. Williams, but most of us have actually gotten used to it. We have all experienced problems with it, such as: slowly trudging down one stairwell during the fire drills, accidentally body-slamming someone in the hall or awkwardly stepping on the back of people’s shoes.

  • April Fools

    The Best Places to Study

    TC is a place for academic scholars, and a key part of being a scholar is studying. There are tons of places to study at TC that you would never think of. The following are five unique places in Alexandria that will improve your study habits and productivity. Usually, you would not think of loud places as places to study, but it turns out they can be really beneficial.

  • April Fools

    The Race to the Restrooms

    Let’s set the stage: it's third period, around 10:45. You raise your hand to go to the bathroom and step away from class and then it dawns on you that you have no idea which bathroom to go to. T.C. Williams’ campus is like a labyrinth, with twisting corridors and winding hallways, making the search for a clean bathroom more of a crusade. This search for the elusive, perfect bathroom has driven many a student to madness. Still, the question continues to haunt our nightmares: “What is the best bathroom at T.C.?”

  • April Fools

    Why Justin Bieber’s Yummy is a Masterpiece

    To understand the genius of Justin Bieber’s new single, Yummy, looks no further than his amazing lyrics: “Yeah, you got that yummy-yum, that yummy-yum, that yummy-yummy, yeah, you got that yummy-yum.” Clearly the song is a beautiful tribute to his wife, Hailey Bieber, with the “yummy yum” symbolizing her kindness and affection for him.

  • April Fools

    How to Trap a Guy in 5 Days

    ...So you got the guy. T.C. Williams has a major shortage of cute, respectable, not stupid young men, so this is a huge deal. Maybe he loves you, maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he wants you to take his hand in marriage, and maybe he wants you out of his life for good when you guys graduate. But no need to fear. You CAN and WILL be together forever, but it takes hard work, strategy, and (my personal favorite) manipulation. This is how to trap a guy in 5 days.

  • April Fools

    The Fall of Avada Kedavra

    Kedavra’s Last Wishes for her Students Mathilda Tataw On April 1, 2020, T.C. Williams announced that beloved teacher Avada Kedavra has passed away from eating 9 ¾ of the Unforgettable Curse Cuisine at the Voldemort Luncheon Cafe in Maryland. After nearly 23 full years of working at T.C., Kedavra taught as both a drama and biology teacher, earning her degree at Ilvermorny University in Massachusetts.  “She was loud and quirky. You would always find her doing some random or out of this world activity. So I am not surprised she left a list of wishes for her students even though she was perfectly healthy,” said James Patronum, Kedavras first and…

  • April Fools

    Football Goes Kagan

    Despite the most successful football campaign in 30 years, Alexandria City Public Schools (ACPS) has decided that T.C. Williams football needs a reboot.

  • April Fools

    A Declaration of Independence from the College Board

    When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for a student body to dissolve the academic bands which have connected them with the College Board, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Education entitle them, a decent respect to the stress levels of students requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

  • April Fools

    Feeling InSECURLY?

    Having trouble logging into your favorite gaming websites? Well, we -- acclaimed staff writers -- do. On occasion, we too enjoy partaking in some light, mild-mannered gaming after a long, tedious day of school work. These simple games serve as an innocent distraction from the pressures of our GPAs, college applications, and other forms of menial work. Unfortunately, the school system favors education and “bettering us as students and individuals.”