April Fools

Feeling InSECURLY?

A deep dive into uncovering the mysterious puppeteer ruling our internet with an iron fist.

Valencio Vastola and Swobbert Beeney

Having trouble logging into your favorite gaming websites? Well, we — acclaimed staff writers — do. On occasion, we too enjoy partaking in some light, mild-mannered gaming after a long, tedious day of school work. These simple games serve as an innocent distraction from the pressures of our GPAs, college applications, and other forms of menial work. Unfortunately, the school system favors education and “bettering us as students and individuals.”
Securly is a Student Safety Company that installs browser restrictions on school-issued computers. This causes certain websites and videos to be blocked and inaccessible to students. Senior Henderson Rich said, “Securly has ruined my social capital and my social status has plummeted, along with my high score on Strike Force Heroes.”

“My life just hasn’t been the same ever since Securly. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night, having dreamt about me reclaiming my iconic title as best Super Smash Flash player of all time. Then, I look off into the distance… realizing it was only a dream,” Junior Faniel Dox said.
Some may make the argument that the students should pay attention to classes and then play the games during their free time., “This is clearly an individual that does not understand how the games work,” Freshman Wenjamin Billiams said. “Playing them at home defeats the purpose of what school gaming is supposed to be about. They just are not as fun to play at home.”

There are also the academic difficulties that result from the dreaded chromebook restrictions. Often, when teachers attempt to pull up a YouTube video, the video is blocked, thus halting the academic opportunities that could have been available to the students.

In this shadowy time, perhaps more serious than the Great Depression, the needs of homework-enduring students must be met. Online games help distract us from the grueling process of college applications, studying for tests, and other student responsibilities.

After an arduous day at school, you come home after a long day’s work and you are fully aware of the work you need to complete later that night. However, you need a quick half-hour to ease your mind from a long day of stress. You sit down, excited to ease your stress by playing a couple of online games. Suddenly, your tired eyes are met with the menacing glow of the securly:// page, announcing that the website had been blocked. As this announcement pops up, your dreams are crushed and any hope of leisure is evaporated.

For the class of 2020, let’s take a step back and relish the good old days where games and apps were available. Productivity was down and the good times were rolling. Particularly during the Minnie Howard days, classrooms were filled with Orpe and Minecraft players. It was a time like no other. When the administration came in, they stopped the rolling of the good times. Since then, the entire school has suffered, with the underclassmen only getting to hear the legendary stories of a better time.

Even through the hard times, the school has carried on and shown an increase in productivity. However, senior, Rick Jorgenson, said, “Someday I hope to come back to T.C. and hear the great news that securly has been destroyed forever..”