Does anyone here know about dream interpretation?
I would check online but I’m kind of weary of their vague “accuracy.” That and I guess I would prefer some human insight…
There has been one reoccurring dream that has followed me throughout my childhood. As a New Year’s Resolution, of sorts, I’d like to make some sense of it, rather than just putting it out of my mind like my father tells me to. He says dreams are just bursts of random sensations and that they hold no weight in the world around us. I want to believe he is right, but my dream seems too structured to be ignored. It frightens me and leaves me with unshakable feelings of apprehension and premonition. I would greatly appreciate anyone’s help to make sense of it all.
Before I begin, I think it would be appropriate for a little background as it might help you understand why my dream is so strange.
I am an only child. My mother died in childbirth; this left my father the sole responsibility of providing for me. God, I wish I had known more about her. According to what my father says she was undoubtedly the most beautiful woman he had ever known. He says I have inherited most of her features which probably explains why I look almost nothing like him. My father is a very big man and the strongest person I’ve ever known. I have a faint memory of him pushing a tree down with his bare hands, though looking back now it was probably the product of a young and overactive imagination. Sometimes I have a hard time telling the two apart, dreams and memories…
My father is actually a very affectionate man. He often holds me like he did back when I was young. This may seem a bit weird to some being that I am now 18 years old, but I never really saw anything strange about a father still wanting to cradle his child. I guess in his eyes I will always be his little boy.
He is also very overprotective of me. He limits where I go and how long I stay there. The fact that I am seldom allowed to spend time with friends causes any possible relationship outside of home to fade quickly. When I ask about my cousins, aunts and uncles, my father’s responses often vary from “Oh, we lost contact.” to “Who cares?” depending on whether or not he’s sober at the time. Needless to say I was often very lonely growing up. Maybe this is what has led to the crazy thoughts I’ve been having lately.
The dream in question has been around for as long as I can remember. Initially, it would resurface every now and then but its frequency has increased throughout the years to the point that it is all I dream about. It always starts out the same. My bed dissolves and I plunge into the darkness of my eyelids. This leaves me with an uncertain sensation of falling, floating, and rising all at the same time. After a few minutes of being suspended, my body shivers and I shrink smaller and smaller until…
I’m a kid again and I am alone in bed, in a room that feels strangely familiar. Everything is fuzzy. Sounds resonate as if I were inside of a bubble. I hear footsteps coming from down the hallway and smile to see a man and a woman at the door way; people that I never remember meeting. The woman is beautiful and has long and wavy brown hair like me. The man has a kind face and has short black hair.
The man beckons me to run to his arms and I do so excitedly. I can’t explain it, but I know them. I feel like they could be some forgotten close relatives or something. I smile in the man’s loving embrace.
The hazy reality around me stabilizes and even sharpens its details, colors brighten, and I come to the realization that this woman may be my deceased mother but my father is nowhere to be seen. Seeing my mother alive is very puzzling. The dream then flashes to a brief scene of me in my backyard playing freeze tag with some kids while a swarm of adults sit nearby talking and drinking. It is there far in the sea of faces where I see my father almost out of sight, standing behind some trees at the opening of a forest. He is not laughing like the others. He looks like he is hiding. He’s concentrating hard on something. I pinpoint his gaze and realize that he is staring at the woman who could be my mother, who is now dancing with the man from before. I hear my heart pound from inside my chest; it beats much like a ritual drum, faster and faster until I pass out. There is a period of silence.
I am back in bed and it is dark. The ceiling fan whirls around my head. It is then when I hear creaking in the distance, creaking, then, footsteps. My father emerges from the blackness and takes me into his arms. He smiles with both eyes closed as if he is in bliss; then quietly carries me back out of the room. His arms strengthen their grip tighter and tighter until the darkness once again greets me, smothers me in its cold embrace. It is there where my dream ends.
It is probably nothing, but I’d like to know the significance of dreaming of something that couldn’t have happened.
Please get back to me whenever it is convenient for you, I have to leave for a while but will be back soon.
My father wants to take me on a trip; I am not sure where we are going, but I’ll try to check back every now and then. Until next time my friends.