Harper Travis
Staff Writer
It’s finally your month, Aries! If you were born March 21- April 19 you should be thrilled that you can expect to be a very passionate, motivated, and incredibly stubborn month. Seriously, you guys are very stubborn. Let’s talk about your Aries qualities since I know you love hearing about yourself!
Aries, you are the first of the twelve zodiacs which explains your constant need to always be #1. Sometimes I think you Aries are born with a 200% battery life because you seem to never take a break. Not that you would ever take a break anyways. Honestly, I have never seen an Aries take a deep breath. One of the scariest qualities of you all (you have so many scary qualities it was hard to pick just one) is the way you never take no for an answer. Even if the President came up to you and said you weren’t allowed to touch the President’s hair, you wouldn’t take no for an answer and would continue to stroke his luscious locks until you were satisfied which could take days knowing you have to do everything until it’s perfect in your eyes.
If you ever ask someone to repeat something multiple times or even to do something more than three times you better warn that poor person to run as fast as they can from you and take shelter immediately before you can catch up to them. Asking you guys to do a simple task more than once is like asking a fish to not swim, it’s physically impossible, you somehow seem to simply refuse and still get away with it which is where your insanely scary bribing skills finally help you. While the innocent bystanders are running for their lives after you get mad because they are walking too slow you will somehow instantly make it a competition and try and run faster than them!
My sweet Aries, you are just as and if not more hot-headed than your younger sibling. Your closest friend could simply be breathing because they are a living human and you worlds start screaming at them to stop being so loud and obnoxious. It would be in the world’s population’s best interest to not anger you considering the crime you are most likely to commit is accidental violence and/or murder; unless they want to be 10 feet under of course!
I have to warn everyone that if someone is even five seconds into telling a story you and your one-second attention span will show and you will immediately be asking the person trying to rant about their day to get to the point.
This Aries season I triple dog dare anyone to put you second in their life and let’s see if they make it out with all ten fingers. I hope all you ladies out there have a lovely, temper-free month. I know that is impossible, but I believe in you!
