April Fools

The REAL Truth About Zodiacs

Audrey Jarrett

Staff Writer

The four elements consisting of air, fire, water, and earth, can be chaotic, fun, or even the most loving person you know. However, below is what makes zodiac signs their unique person. Here’s a way to get to know yourself, and your friends, better through this totally honest and quick guide.

Aries (March 21 – April 19): This dynamic fire sign, loves to be number one, and is outright enthusiastic about being ambitious. They  know exactly what they want but can become easily frustrated at unnecessary bumps in the road. You can find them thinking after they leap, which causes them to learn lessons the hard way. While their self-determination can be influential, they should watch out for selfish tendencies.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20): An earth sign, “who is most likely to take a six hour bath,” says Laurie Loozy, they aren’t  afraid to pull up their sleeves and get to work, in hopes of earning big things. Represented by the bull, Taureans know how to play the long game whether it’s either professional or romantic. Their loyal trait allows them to cherish honesty and respect others’ secrets.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20): A playful and curious person that is always down to try something new. They can get carried away easily and love to tell juicy gossip, but they like to keep information to themselves. They love texting and tweeting as much as talking IRL (in real life) because communication is a must. However, they must be thoughtful with their words. They can have short attention spans and love when the topic of discussion jumps around.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22): Represented by the crab, Cancer is obviously a crabby water sign. They are deemed cold and distant until you get to know them and build trust. Their hard shell makes them look tough but if you dig a little deeper you will find they are THE MOST emotional sign out there (next to Pisces). As they make good hosts and enjoy entertainment, a home-cooked meal is what they love.

Leo (July 23 – August 22): Roll out the red carpet because Leo is here! This fire sign, ruled by the lion, loves the spotlight and likes to celebrate themselves. Even when they congratulate the success of others, impaired by their ego and pride, they could feel threatened when their star power is lost. They find gossiping or telling secrets wrong and irresponsible. Clearly a pro at keeping secrets, Pascal Pepsi said, “I’ve never seen my bestie Leo ever tell my secrets to someone else.”

Virgo (August 23 – September 22):  A logical and practical person, who is grounded in the soil because of their earthy nature as an earth sign. Molly Molecule says, “if you want something done, give it to a Virgo!” They are known to be incredibly helpful and always want to problem solve and come up with sensible solutions. Pisces, Virgos opposite sign, offers advice through unworldly ways, but Virgos want to assist on practical levels.

Libra (September 23 – October 22): Libra is an air sign representing a balance scale, and strives to create an equilibrium in all areas of life. These air signs make excellent designers, decorators, art critics, and stylists. (I think Libra could steal the red carpet from Leo now!) There is no better way for a Libra to relax than with a face mask because they are highly motivated by their physical appearance.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): One of the most misunderstood signs of the bunch, they could be mistaken for a fire sign, but in fact, they are quite watery. Like fellow water signs, Cancer and Pisces, Scorpio is very instinctive and proves that they can determine the future. On a good day, Scorpion energy is ambitious. If you catch them on a bad day you may find they are at risk of poisoning themselves.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Oh the places they’ll go! This fire sign knows no bounds. They have a dynamic blend of passion, curiosity, and intensity. You could find them riding down a rampage of waves, or discovering secrets about an ancient civilization because of their quest for knowledge. With no filter, they can be very funny and intelligent, but when it comes to air and water signs, Sags can make them feel uneasy or hurt.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): A unique, powerful spirit to say the least…who are extremely motivated. They are determined to overcome whatever is in their way. Long-term goals and a big picture will not be destroyed by tiny details or a crack in the glass. “Capricorns definitely don’t sugarcoat,” says Uzie Mcdroozy. “Time is the most valuable resource to Capricorns.”

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): “Quite the original, rebellious, do-gooder you would see planning a revolution or some other kind of movement,” said Crystal Nocandoo. They are the last air sign, even though their prefix is “aqua”.  They can be seen showing off their fashion sense and have a bit of a reputation for being separated. You will rarely catch this “water bearer” sign involved in small talk conversations.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20): This water sign is sometimes called a Piscean, and is one of the most emotionally sensitive of the signs. An expressive and compassionate creature, yet when they become consumed by their emotions, they must remember to settle and not stray from reality. They love a good make-believe fantasy but have to real themselves back in. They must also know that they can’t always swim away from all their problems…

Hey! I'm new to journalism and haven't figured out my passion yet. I like to learn about new things and how they fit into the world. As a sophomore, this is my first year writing for Theogony. In my free time, I like to swim, travel, and read romance novels. Thank you for reading my article!