{"id":2683,"date":"2020-04-01T11:47:43","date_gmt":"2020-04-01T15:47:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/?p=2683"},"modified":"2020-04-01T11:47:45","modified_gmt":"2020-04-01T15:47:45","slug":"tiktok-takes-the-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/tiktok-takes-the-world\/","title":{"rendered":"TikTok Takes the World"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The Series of Events Leading to the Destruction of Humankind<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

By: Lauren Larsen<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

New App Begins to Brainwash a Generation<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

July 18, 2018<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It all started in September of 2017 when an app with a black background and white music note skyrocketed to the #1 rank in the app store: TikTok. This app, created by ByteDance, a Beijing-based company founded by Zhang Yiming, merged with what was formerly known as Musical.ly, a popular app where users could create short lip-sync and dance videos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While TikTok is practically the same concept, it has taken the world by storm in a way that Musicl.ly never did. At its peak, Musicl.ly had 200 million registered accounts; TikTok has more than twice that. This relatively new app has teenagers across the world doing the Renegade dance, chanting, \u201cGo Demarcus, go Demarcus,\u201d and climbing onto their roofs, extending their arms, and swaying their legs to Chinese New Year<\/em> by Sales.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This may not make any sense to someone who hasn\u2019t downloaded the app, but for many Gen Z and Millennial users, it has created a language and a way to connect. Now it seems like everyone is \u201chitting the woah\u201d in their class, following famous TikTokers Charli D\u2019Amelio and Lilhuddy, and dying the front strips of their hair purple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Time will tell if this app will continue to influence the youth of the world, and if so, how much of an impact it will have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Teen Girls Arrested for Making TikToks on Roof of Urban Outfitters<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

August 15, 2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Three 16 year old girls were arrested last night after police discovered them trespassing onto an Urban Outfitters in downtown Chicago to film TikToks. Upon questioning, the girls claimed that this is the \u201ccontent\u201d necessary to garner enough views to make them go \u201cviral.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They were found on the roof at the northwest quadrant of the building complex at 9:36 p.m. When located, the girls, whose names must remain anonymous because they are minors, were playing the chorus of \u201cMy Oh My\u201d by Camila Cabello repeatedly, trying to perfectly perform the dance they saw on Charli D\u2019Amelio\u2019s TikTok account the previous day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Police Department filed a report a few hours after the incident and said that the girls were to be released in 24 hours from the city\u2019s Juvenile Detention Center (JDC).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JDC employee Kathy Abernathy said, \u201cI heard the girls chanting \u2018This is for Rachel you big, fat, […]\u2019 in the dark of the night. I don\u2019t really know who Rachel is, but I sure am glad I am not her.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The JDC has reached out to the administrations of local Chicago high schools and asked for them to implement ways to reduce the number of TikToks being made. They figured that sense students are most with their friends during the school day, the school system itself can shut down this \u201cepidemic\u201d of TikTok dancing and acting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe cannot have teenagers trespassing onto private commercial property just to film themselves dancing,\u201d said Chief of Police Derick Davison, \u201cIt is completely unacceptable and will result in a lawsuit against the teens by the corporations whose rights these girls were violating.\u201d Davison randomly warned, \u201cFASFA\u2019s are not allotted to bad kids who are addicted to stupid apps!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Sephora Releases New \u201cTikTok Face Liner\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

February 1, 2020<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Makeup mega-company Sephora announced today that they have designed and manufactured a new makeup liner intended for the face. Teens have begun to draw small hearts on the top of their cheekbones below the eyes. The company has joined the TikTok bandwagon by promoting a product perfect for e-girls and e-boys. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe believe there is big market potential here,\u201d said Sephora CEO Chris du Lapen, \u201cIf we take what is trending online and turn it into a product teenagers can buy, sales will be through the roof.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe also are trying to increase awareness of this new product by locking in a brand deal with Charli D\u2019Amelio or Addison Easterling,\u201d said du Lapen. \u201cHonestly, we could use the support of anyone in the Hype House — even the irrelevant ones.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe expect e-girls and e-boys to be lined up outside our stores trying to buy the new face liner,\u201d he continued, \u201cIf Morphe used this tactic when Euphoria<\/em> came out and almost every girl started doing avengart eye looks, so can we!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even though du Lapen is not on TikTok, he is open to learning more about it, \u201cI made a TikTok already, although it is still in my drafts. When I was scrolling through my For You Page, I noticed kids making \u2018CEO of ____\u2019 videos. I am sure you can imagine how I worked with that one. Follow me on TikTok!\u201d Said du Lapen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Doctors Confirm First Case of TikTok-Talitis: The First Ever Disease Emergence from App Addiction<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

March 12, 2020<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe prospects are not looking good,\u201d said Mike O’Malley, lead neuroscientist and disease specialist at Johns Hopkins University, \u201cYesterday, I diagnosed Jessica Aldean, an 18 year old \u2018TikToker\u2019 who has experienced muscle and ocular failure due to severe addiction to watching and making TikToks. She has TikTok-Talitis, and many others in the ER are demonstrating similar symptoms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what happened, it just happened so fast,\u201d said Aldean, \u201cI started getting these intense migraines and everything started to go black.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her roommate, Clara Stevenson, drove Aldean to the hospital, \u201cI am so worried for her! But we have a Kappa Delta Date Party in a week and if she is not well enough to film a transition TikTok from ugly to dressed up, then I don\u2019t even know what the point is anymore!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After other examinations and testing, O\u2019Malley concluded that Aldean was not the only victim, \u201cThere are at least a dozen other teens in my ER right now showing similar symptoms. There is no research about it because no one has ever witnessed this before. We are all new to this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The doctors have decided that as for right now, the only treatment is a complete purge from TikTok, \u201cThose affected have got to delete this app and reduce their screen time,\u201d said O\u2019Malley. \u201cUntil we know more, this is their only hope.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Upon informing the patients of this treatment plan, everyone broke out in utter hysteria. One patient belched, \u201cBut Dr. O\u2019Malley, you don\u2019t understand. There\u2019s an entire new Renegade dance I have to learn! Ahhhhh!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Victims of TikTok-Tilitis Rise Up Against Humanity<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

April 1, 2020<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTHE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US!\u201d Screamed a Washington D.C. resident on Pennsylvania Avenue, \u201cWE ARE DOOMED!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The number of people affected with the new TikTok-fueled disease has reached 750 million, more than the number of original users, and it is growing. They have risen up against \u201cthe regulars,\u201d those who have not downloaded the app and consumed TikToks, and are ready to take over the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even in less than a month after its emergence, this disease has done irreversible damage. Even the President of the United States has issued a national quarantine of regulars to ensure their safety from the TikTokers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those that are affected are characterized by black irises, vibrating skulls, and twitching muscles that occur as a result of not doing enough TikTok dances. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s insane,\u201d said regular Molly Oakley, \u201cthey are blaring from speakers in the middle of the night the most popular TikTok songs like…oh what is it…ah yes like Blueberry Faygo<\/em> by Lil Mosey or Cannibal<\/em> by Kesha.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oakley said that TikTok-Tilitis victims wake up in the middle of the night, flood the streets, and all start to dance, in sync, to trending songs or chant popular skits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\t\u201cIf you look at them,\u201d said Oakley, \u201cYou become one of them. And if you become one of them, there is no going back.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Doctor reports have confirmed that this disease is like dementia in that victims forget who they are, who they love, and what they enjoy in life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAll they can think about is TikTok, day in and day out,\u201d said TikTok-Tilitis researcher Donna London, \u201cand the more their army grows, the more people we lose. Before we know it, the entire fabric of the human race will be completely torn.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe can only hope that a treatment will be developed to tackle this pandemic, otherwise, we are doomed,\u201d said London.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It all started in September of 2017 when an app with a black background and white music note skyrocketed to the #1 rank in the app store: TikTok.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":2689,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2683","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-april-fools-edition"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/tiktok.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2683","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2683"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2683\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2696,"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2683\/revisions\/2696"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2689"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2683"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2683"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2683"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}