{"id":2631,"date":"2020-04-01T01:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-04-01T05:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/?p=2631"},"modified":"2020-04-01T10:30:14","modified_gmt":"2020-04-01T14:30:14","slug":"balas-enters-presidential-race","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/balas-enters-presidential-race\/","title":{"rendered":"Balas Enters Presidential Race"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

TC Williams Principal Announces His Campaign<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

By: Lexie Larsen, Lauren Larsen, and Hunter Langley<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

In a shocking and bold move, T.C. Williams Principal Peter Balas has announced he is entering the race for the Democratic presidential nomination.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He announced his campaign at 11:00 a.m. on March 31th. \u201cI figured that since managing the day-to-day affairs at T.C. is the most insurmountable challenge of them all,\u201d Balas said, \u201cbeing President should be very doable. I am looking forward to a step down in complexity.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Immediately following Balas\u2019 announcement, President Donald Trump Tweeted, \u201c[N]ow [I]\u2019m scared.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Other Democratic Presidential Candidates seem to view the announcement with great anxiety. Former Democratic Presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg said, \u201cand I thought I had joined the race late.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Balas\u2019 announcement created quite the controversy on Twitter, as users were tweeting either #BeatPete or #PetetheElite. Either way, everyone forgot about the \u201cprevious Pete,\u201d Pete Buttigieg, who dropped out on March 2.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not everyone at T.C. is on board with his campaign efforts. Student Dwight Kahoot said, \u201cHe couldn\u2019t even get Advisory right, how should I expect him to fix the economy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Former Biden supporter and hashtag user Dominic Hapenscolvonski said, \u201cWith Balas in the race there is no way Biden can win the nomination now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A Trump supporter who also contributed to the firestorm on Twitter, Luke \u2018Banjo McGee\u2019 Garcia, said, \u201cI was thinking Trump would have the November election in the bag, but I am not sure anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Balas already announced his running mate, \u201cThere is only one gal I trust for the job,\u201d he said, \u201cand that\u2019s my right-hand woman, Patty Moran.\u201d The announcement came with little shock as the two work closely with Moran being Balas\u2019 secretary. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Balas’ campaign sign for the 2020 Presidential election.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

The decision will likely increase Balas\u2019 appeal with female voters. \u201cI have lived next to Patty for 23 years,\u201d said Moran\u2019s neighbor Marybeth Lancing, \u201cshe makes the best lemon meringue [pie] in the whole city. Anyone with that kind of skill has my vote!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI have seen Patty give double detentions while talking on the phone with the Alexandria City Mayor,\u201d Balas said, \u201cI am confident that she can get it all done.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moran made a comment following Balas\u2019 announcement, \u201cI am ecstatic about being Peter\u2019s running mate. Although I was looking forward to retirement soon, I\u2019m still willing to run. Then again, so are Biden and Bernie\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Balas also announced his nominations for some of the 15 executive departments. The new Secretary of State will be Economics and U.S. Government teacher Andrew Orzel. The position of Secretary of Energy would be filled by Environmental Science teacher Lexye Hearding. The new Secretary of Agriculture will be Gardening Club adviser and Environmental Science teacher Patrick Earle. The Secretary of Commerce will be Economics and Personal Finance teacher, Dr. Nancy Foote. Finally, Secretary of Defense will be headed by Officer Johnny Larios.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Voters show specific favoritism for the new nominee. D.C. resident Hannah Hansen said, \u201cFinally, a person with proper preparation. Pete\u2019s power as a public school principal will make him a perfect president.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even so, some voters are worried about the potential policy Balas might implement as President. Tennessee Native Travis Brody said, \u201cI have heard rumors that Balas would change the 4th of July to National Kagan Training Day,\u201d he continued, \u201cI just want my beer and hot dogs!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even so, in a recent debate, Balas notably said he planned to combat climate change by telling everyone to \u201cchill out.\u201d Miraculously since the statement, ice caps have reformed, greenhouse gas emissions have decreased by 20%, and the quantity of ocean plastic has been reduced by half. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not only that, but if President, Balas promises to eradicate the College Board as he has witnessed the ramifications firsthand of their despicable, greedy, and corrupt business practice. \u201cI am 100% behind Balas,\u201d said senior Neil O\u2019Connell, \u201cAnyone who understands the struggle students of today\u2019s age has to go through is competent and aware enough to tackle other big issues.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBiden and Sanders attended college IN THE LAST MILLENIA! How would they know what students need?!\u201d said an anonymous Twitter user. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Balas promises to decrease the national debt by instituting the Kagan principles that sharing is caring and every American needs to do their part to help pay it off, even if it means putting themselves in extreme amounts of debt. Overall, Balas is ready to take what he has learned from being Principal at T.C. to the Oval Office. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A student who works on Labyrinth<\/em>, T.C.\u2019s arts magazine, said, \u201cPete B. is who we need. He\u2019s smart. He\u2019s tactful. He can get the job done…he deserves a vote from everyone!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In a shocking and bold move, T.C. Williams Principal Peter Balas has announced he is entering the presidential race to compete for the Democratic nomination.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":2634,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2631","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-april-fools-edition"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/SIX_4E86E817-34BC-42DF-9AD1-0C4E8A5A99B9-scaled.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2631","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/23"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2631"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2631\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2672,"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2631\/revisions\/2672"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2634"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2631"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2631"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.acpsk12.org\/theogony\/2019-2020\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2631"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}